Monday, August 27, 2007
I don't have any "Senior Portraits", but the look in Ms.Mamma's eyes said she was going to kick my ass if I didn't post something!LOL!!!!!!
I think I was still 19 and stationed at Memphis Naval Air Station in the first pic. I had attitude back then too!
The second pic, same year, I had reached 20 years of age stationed at Naval Air Station Whidbey Island. I had just come back from one of the night clubs on the base and found that my roommate Carl had eaten my sack lunch from the fridge.
I had the munchies big time, and was pissed because that wasn't the first time he had done that to me. He had come back from the club early,ate my food, and passed out.
So I took all the mayo, mustard, ketchup,jelly packets, and what was left of a sandwich and squirted it all over him. My other roommate took the picture. We took some "Bengay" and rubbed all over his upper lip, and he didn't wake up! Carl was wasted!!!!
We were some party animals back in those days. I would be walking to my duty station the next morning and stopping along the way to puke, but only had the dry heaves! Then I would swear I wasn't going to drink anymore. But I would be back at the clubs the very next night!
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
I can be such a negative little bastard, so I've decided to try to make a list of things that I'm glad about, or thankful for.
I'm glad that I had two parents who tried to instill a sense of right and wrong in me as a child, and make me go to church even if I didn't want to. I don't follow that doctrine now, but I'm glad I was raised in that environment.
I'm glad that I grew up in the 60's when life was much simpler and watched TV in black & white, and had grandparents with no indoor plumbing and had to use an outhouse.
I'm glad my grandad taught me how to whittle and make my own slingshots, and bow and arrows.
I'm glad we didn't have all the fancy toys that kids have today, because I would never of had the imagination to take an empty "Quaker Oats" box with some tobacco twine and make my own imaginary scuba tank and face mask to play "Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea". Yes, I dove off the bunk beds into the floor and pretended to swim underwater.
I'm glad I had a childhood friend who taught me to catch snakes, lizards, and turtles. I'm glad we were smart enough to study which snakes to catch and which ones to leave alone. I'm glad he took it as serious as he did.
I'm glad for the summers that I spent on my grandparents farm and was able to see how chickens, pigs, cows and various other livestock were raised back then. They actually got to live a pretty good life in those days. The commercialization of livestock (especially swine and poultry) in this modern era is appalling.
I'm glad none of the bamboo poles I used to pole vault over Mom and Dad's car ever broke.
I'm glad my Dad was a mechanic, and was able to provide my little brother and I with (Go-Carts & Mini-bikes) even if they only had 3 or 4 horsepower! I'm also glad he let us have ponies and horses, and "Bill" the cow. She was a manly looking cow!
I'm glad I didn't bite into that horseshit sandwich my little sister made for me on the trail ride.
I'm glad my parents didn't divorce until I was 27. I'm glad they are still around and I have a good relationship with them and my little sister and brother.
I'm glad I married my ex even if it didn't work out. I'm glad we're still friends. She probably kept me out of a shit load of trouble for those 15 years of marriage.
I'm glad for my job, and I'm glad to live in one of the most powerful nations on earth. Of course I don't know how long either of those will last?
And last but best of all, I'm glad to get to snuggle up with my little Boston Emily, and my Bullie Abigail and go to bed tonight under some cold A/C.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
There was this Italian cook who was concerned about his three son's appearance. So, he confronted each one of them separately on their physical appearance. You need to hear this joke in an Italian accent to get the full effect!
He confronts the first son Antonio
Papa : Antonio, why you so fat?
Antonio: It's the pasta Papa. All I think about is the pasta. I love the pasta. I could eat the pasta every day!
Papa: But Antonio, you need to take a smaller bites!
Then he goes to the second son Giovanni
Papa: Giovanni,why you so fat?
Giovanni: It's the pizza Papa. All I think about is the pizza. I love the pizza. I could eat the pizza every day!
Papa: But Giovanni, you need to take a smaller bites!
Then he goes to the third son Giuseppe
Papa: Giuseppe,why you so skinny?
Giuseppe: It's the pussy Papa. All I think about is the pussy. I love the pussy. I could eat the pussy every day!
Papa: Aggghhhhh ....Pussy......taste like shit!
Giuseppe: But Papa, you need to take a smaller bites?
I just got through reading J's post and it got me to thinking! Damn, that's dangerous......for me to think....that is!
It's a meme and although I wasn't tagged it looked like time for introspection. I won't be tagging anyone else either!
Anti Racist Meme
1. I am:
A very mixed up individual. (English,German, Scottish,Irish,?,?) I used to be blonde, blue eyed, now it's just gray haired and bloodshot eyes! I do know that I am 100% Asshole, and I battle it daily!
2. My child is:
Non-existant! Unless you count doggies?
I decided I didn't want children from a very early age because I didn't want to change shitty diapers. Also, I was quite a rotten little shit, and as I aged, I decided I didn't want to reap all the rotten shit I have done.
Now that I am an old fart, I look at our government run school system, not to mention the way the government is knee deep in all our ass'es and I'm kind of glad I don't have children.
3. I first started thinking more about race, culture, and identity when:
Gosh, I guess I was 5 or 6 years old visiting my grandparents back in the early 60's. My grandparents were farmers and raised tobacco for a living in southern NC. I noticed people of a different color for the first time while there.
There were these old black ladies in the shade of Grandad's pack house tying up tobacco on sticks. I was very intrigued with our physical differences to say the least. Then one of them spit on the ground and it was black? Black spit?????
That vision was burned into my little brain. I ran around the corner and spit on the ground for comparison. Mine wasn't black? I thought black people had black spit, and white people had regular clear spit? How was I supposed to know she was chewing snuff?
Needless to say, my grandad treated these folks with the utmost respect, as he taught me and there were many of them at his funeral some twenty years later!
4. People think my name is:
Asshole!.......no really.....most people have no trouble with my first name. They usually mispronounce my last name, but I couldn't remain the anonymous asshole that I am if I told you that.
5. The family tradition I most want to pass on is:
Whoops, missed out on that one? I have no one to pass anything on too except my two nieces, and I don't want to corrupt them!
Everybody tells me I would have been a good father!
I've got their ass'es fooled! Bwhaaaa,,,haaaa,haaa
6. The family tradition I least want to pass on is:
I'm such a dummy,and I can't begin to tell you how many times I've edited this post.
The only tradition I can think of at the moment is that my Dad, my brother, and I always go to Hooters and drink beer and eat chicken wings when it is one of our birthdays. So, I get to go to Hooters at least 3 times a year. We wouldn't want to pass that on to my nieces, and I surely hope niether of them decide to work there!
7. My child’s first word in English was:
8. My child’s first non-English word was:
Number 7 & 8 Doesn't apply to me. Wow! Look how not having kids saved me time here!
9. The non-English word/phrase most used in my home is:
"Hola", as in AssHola!!!!!!
10. One thing I love about being a parent is:
See number 2 , 7 & 8!
11. One thing I hate about being a parent is:
See number 2 , 7 & 8! Wow...this is getting easier and easier!
12. To me, being an anti-racist parent means:
Teaching your child that we are not all created equal, but we all have equal opportunities!
There are people who will have more and there are people who will have less so live with it! And always remember the world does not revolve around you!!!!!!!!
When you notice other people’s differences, strengths, and weaknesses; concentrate on their strengths, and forgive their weaknesses.
I believe we as humans are racist by nature. We tend to notice other cultures weaknesses, more than their strengths. We're just like the media in that aspect, good news just isn't news, but bad news is good for business or gossip in our case!
Now, all that leads me to this.........
I don't like having to defend myself from being a racist! It seems to me that the ones hollering racist are more of a racist than I am.
I don't know what to call them? If I call them "they", then I'm a racist?
So, here goes something to ponder; how do you tell your child why "they" have Black Miss America, but "they" don't have White Miss America, or Jewish Miss America, or Puerto Rican Miss America?
How do you tell your child why "they" have Black MTV, but not White MTV, or Jewish MTV, or Puerto Rican MTV?
Why do I have to defend myself from using the "They" word?
Why is it racist to be white?