Sunday, March 25, 2007

From Riches to Rags and WTF?

Once upon a time I lived here with a Magical Princess. But was banished back to "Trailer Trashville".
I was the lucky owner of this mobile home about one month before this tree landed on it.
Hauled that badboy off. Cut every damn tree down, and hauled this one in. I doubt this will be "Happily ever After", but it's as close as I can get for now.

Flickr Photos hurricane charlie damage

Redneck Living Large

Saturday, March 24, 2007

It's a Redneck Thang! Beer, Mud, and Some David Allen Coe.

That's one of my buddies (Tony) and his Mud Racing Truck (Poor White Trash) above with some guy and his butt crack in the background~!LOL

He's pushing close to 600 horsepower in a Chevy 400 small block.

Tony lives for this shit!

I like my shit clean. This ain't my cup of tea! I don't know who's truck that was, but don't even ask me to clean that bitch. Sometimes Tony let's the mud dry on his truck. I like to stick empty beer cans to the mud on the side of the truck. I stuck some up under the fenderwells and they were still there when he got home.

OK.......I like my women Dirty! I could clean on that for a while! LOL

Damn......this makes Mud Racing almost bearable!
Now I Lay Me Down To Cheat!

Who'd a thunk it?

I put my left over (still glowing) charcoal on this old pine stump in my backyard.

I come back an hour later and it looks like the eternal flame.

That's cause that old pine stump is half rotten and half fat lighter.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

ms.mamma turned me on to this

You are The Lovers

Motive, power, and action, arising from Inspiration and Impulse.

The Lovers represents intuition and inspiration. Very often a choice needs to be made.

Originally, this card was called just LOVE. And that's actually more apt than "Lovers." Love follows in this sequence of growth and maturity. And, coming after the Emperor, who is about control, it is a radical change in perspective. LOVE is a force that makes you choose and decide for reasons you often can't understand; it makes you surrender control to a higher power. And that is what this card is all about. Finding something or someone who is so much a part of yourself, so perfectly attuned to you and you to them, that you cannot, dare not resist. This card indicates that the you have or will come across a person, career, challenge or thing that you will fall in love with. You will know instinctively that you must have this, even if it means diverging from your chosen path. No matter the difficulties, without it you will never be complete.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

How Do You Like Them Apples?

View Apple's Future Products

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Here is a story about a dumb ass!

I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that since they congregated at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away) that it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, who had seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes my deer showed up - 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope with some dignity. A deer, no chance. That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I originally imagined.

The only up side is that they do not have as much stamina as many animals. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head.

At that point I had lost my taste for corn fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death. I managed to get it lined up to back in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set beforehand - Kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head - almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts. The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.

That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that when an animal like a horse strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape. This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and three times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now when a deer paws at you and knocks you down it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head. I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.

Now for the local legend. I was pretty beat up. My scalp was split open, I had several large goose eggs, my wrist was bleeding pretty good and felt broken (it turned out to be just badly bruised) and my back was bleeding in a few places, though my insulated canvas jacket had protected me from most of the worst of it. I drove to the nearest place, which was the co-op. I got out of the truck, covered in blood and dust and looking like hell. The guy who ran the place saw me through the window and came running out yelling, "What happened?" I have never seen any law in the state of Kansas that would prohibit an individual from roping a deer. I suspect that this is an area that they have overlooked entirely. Knowing, as I do, the lengths to which law enforcement personnel will go to exercise their power, I was concerned that they may find a way to twist the existing laws to paint my actions as criminal. I swear...not wanting to admit that I had done something monumentally stupid played no part in my response. I told him, "I was attacked by a deer." I did not mention that at the time I had a rope on it. The evidence was all over my body. Deer prints on the back of my jacket where it had stomped all over me and a large deer print on my face where it had struck me there. I asked him to call somebody to come get me. I didn't think I could make it home on my own.

Later that afternoon, a game warden showed up at my house and wanted to know about the deer attack. Surprisingly, deer attacks are a rare thing and wildlife and parks was interested in the event. I tried to describe the attack as completely and accurately as I could. I was filling the grain hopper and this deer came out of nowhere and just started kicking the hell out of me and BIT me. It was obviously rabid or insane or something.

EVERYBODY for miles around knows about the deer attack (the guy at the co-op has a big mouth). For several weeks, people dragged their kids in the house when they saw deer around and the local ranchers carried rifles when they filled their feeders. I have told several people the story, but NEVER anybody around here. I have to see these people every day and as an outsider - a "city folk" - I have enough trouble fitting in without them snickering behind my back and whispering "there is the dumb ass that tried to rope the deer."

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

A Marine response

Apparently, a Marine operating in al Anbar Province saw a Media Report critical of Marines. I did not see the media criticism, but would note that the attempt to undermine Marines in combat may have been shoved to the rear by the
outrage....permanent outrage, I might add....over the botched executions of torturers, rapists and mass murderers. The media in action....leaving no stone unturned in the pursuit of political objectives.

In any event, the unidentified Marine has produced an eminently readable response. He forgot to mention that what they are doing mirrors what was done in the Pacific during WW II and for the same reasons.

In response to the news blurb about the Marine who put two rounds in a wounded insurgent's head in Fallujah, he took the time to write the story below. His views deserve wide circulation.


It's a safety issue pure and simple. After assaulting through a target, we put a security round in everybody's head. Sorry al-Reuters, there's no paddy wagon rolling around Fallujah picking up"prisoners" and offering them a hot cup a joe,falafel, and a blanket. There's no time to dick around on the target. You clear the space, dump the chumps, and

Are Corpsman expected to treat wounded terrorists? Negative. Hey libs, worried about the defense budget? Well, it would be waste, fraud, and abuse for a Corpsman to expend one man-minute or a battle dressing on a terrorist. Its much cheaper to just spend the $.02 on a 5.56mm FMJ.

By the way, in our view, terrorists who chop off civilian's heads are not prisoners, they are carcasses. Chopping off a civilian's head is another reason why these idiots are known as "unlawful combatants." It seems that most of the world's journalists have forgotten that fact.

Let me be very clear about this issue. I have looked around the web, and many people get this concept, but there are some stragglers. Here is your situation Marine: You just took fire from unlawful combatants(no uniform - breaking every Geneva Convention rule there is) shooting from a religious building attempting to use the sanctuary status of their position as protection. But you're in Fallujah now, and the Marine Corps has decided that they're not playing that game this time. That was Najaf. So you set the mosque on fire and you hose down the terrorists with small arms, launch some AT-4s (Rockets), some 40MM grenades into the building and things quiet down. So you run over there, and find some tangos (bad guys) wounded and pretending to be dead. You are aware that suicide martyrdom is like really popular with these idiots, and they think taking some Marines with them would be really cool. So you can either risk your life and your fire team's lives by having them cover you while you bend down and search a guy that you think is pretending to be dead for some reason. Most of the time these are the guys with the grenade or vest made of explosives.

Also, you don't know who or what is in the next room. You're already speaking English to the rest of your fire team or squad which lets the terrorist know you are there and you are his enemy. You are speaking loud because your hearing is poor from shooting people for several days. So you know that there are many other rooms to enter, and that if anyone is still alive in those rooms, they know that Americans are in the mosque. Meanwhile (3 seconds later), you still have this terrorist (that was just shooting at you from a mosque) playing possum. What do you do? You double tap his head, and you go to the next room, that's what!!!

What about the Geneva Convention and all that Law of Land Warfare stuff?

What about it. Without even addressing the issues at hand, your first thought should be, "I'd rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6."

Bear in mind that this tactic of double tapping a fallen terrorist is a perpetual mindset that is reinforced by experience on a minute by minute basis. Secondly, you are fighting an unlawful combatant in a Sanctuary, which is a double No-No on his part. Third, tactically you are in no position to take "prisoners" because there are more rooms to search and clear, and the behavior of said terrorist indicates that he is up to no good. No good in Fallujah is a very large place and the low end of no good and the high end of no good are fundamentally the same . Marines end up getting hurt or die. So there is no compelling reason for you to do anything but double tap this idiot and get on with the mission.

If you are a veteran, then everything I have just written is self evident. If you are not a veteran, then at least try to put yourself in the situation. Remember, in Fallujah there is no yesterday, there is no tomorrow, there is only now. Right the hell NOW. Have you ever lived in NOW for a week? It is really, really not easy. If you have never lived in NOW for longer than it takes to finish the big roller coaster at Six Flags, then shut your hole about putting Marines in jail for "War Crimes."

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Yard Buzzard

This little meme is for Ms.mamma.

1. What's your #1 comfort food?... Chicken & it don't make a damn how you cook it!

2. If you were on a deserted island, what one food would you want to have with you? There better be plenty of yard buzzard runnin around or I'm gonna be eatin some serious parrot ass.

3. What is/are your signature dishes? I'm a no cookin bitch. Hmmmmmmm.....I know..... the easiest thing in the world to cook! You got comes out a chickens ass. I can whip up a mean batch of scrambled eggs.

4. It's Friday night, you don't know what to cook. Damn it's Friday night? can bet your sweet ass I won't be cooking........what restaurant would you like to go to?......Hell yes I'm buyin. They have killer Margaritas at the Texas Roadhouse!

5. What's your biggest weakness when it comes to food? The more cholestrol it has,the better I like it.Pass the fried chicken and mashed taters.

6. What food can you absolutely not eat? Pig's feet,pickled eggs,brains........but you let me go without food for a week and I'll eat the wooden legs off a hobby horse!

7. You need a drink. I'll grab an ice cold bottle of Miller lite......and a couple of shots of Hosea Quervo always helps.

8. What's the most decadent dish you've had? Now you've done it. You had to make a dumbass redneck look up the word "decadent". "Marked by decay or decline" I guess that would be anything left in my fridge that's a week or two old? Now if you mean unusual.....that would be grilled black bear,fried rattlesnake,frog legs,alligator, etc.

9. What's your favorite type of food? This is gettin redundant ain't it? Chicken damn it!

10. Favorite dish? Damn.....see number nine! I'll eat a ribeye when I get burnt out on chicken.

11. If your partner could take you to any restaurant you wanted, which one would it be? Rucker Johns sounds good to me, or hell.....we could just go to Chic Fillet for all I care. I'm not that picky.

12. Are you a soup or salad person? Is boiled chicken and rice a soup? OK sign me up for soup. See number 16 also.

13. Buffet, take-out or sit-down restaurant? I don't like waiting when I'm hungry. I want my food and I want it now! So buffets appeal to me in that sense. The older I get, the more I see the need to keep my old fat ass away from them. So , I prefer a restaurant that is known for super fast service, or even a cafeteria style where you get only one plate!

14. What's the most impressive dinner you've ever made? Impressive? yeah right! I like to cook outside if forced to cook. I can grill steaks, and make some pretty good BBQ chicken if I have too! I can steam the hell out of some oysters!

15. Do you consider yourself a good cook? Ask my dogs? I cook more for them than I do myself. I'll throw a Lean Cusine in the microwave if I don't have time to go out and eat. I've eaten a couple cans of sardines this past week. Must be needin some fish in the diet?

16. Do you know what vichyssoise is? I got to google this shit? has chicken in it.......sounds good!

17. Who's your favorite TV cook? Emeril Lagasse is the only one that comes to mind, but only because of his personality. I don't watch the food network dammit.

18. Can you name at least three TV cooking personalities? Shit....see number 17!

19. Homemade or homemade from a box? Homemade if someone else is cooking it for me. I won't be cooking if I can help it!

20. Name 3 or more other foodies you are going to tag. Maybe, I'll send this out on my email list? Just doin it at Ms.mammas request for now.

Friday, March 09, 2007