Craigslist personals WTF????

Sometimes ya just gotta surf Craigslist for the fun of it. Yeah, we got us a local boy here lookin' for a woman and I decided he needed to go international with his ad!
Come on gals. Help my little buddy Jimmy Ray find that special lady!LOL!

Titled: Take a ride... In my truck! - 27 (Wilmington)

I don't know what else to do. My girlfriend done run off and left me for my neighbor. She even took the kids, but I ain't complainin' about that. But the family reunion ain't for another couple 'a months and I sure could use a woman's comp'ny right now.
I'm 'a lookin' for a good lookin' gal that can stand by her man and not leave him for his handsome daddy. Or his best friend. Or his next door neighbor. Or the guy who works at the Bojangles in Monkey Junction. I ain't havin' it.

I like: NASCAR, anything Earnhardt, Copenhagen, Milwaukee's Beast, four wheelin', drinkin', shootin', 103.7 the Bone, my dogs Rufus and Boceefus, and my truck. And big boobs, too.
I don't like: hippies, Toyota, leaving tips, going to work sober, and bathing.

If you're a blond haired, blue eyed sweet Southern gal, go ahead and email me back. I only like 'em when they're dressed out at no more 'n 130 pounds or so. I ain't all into this "more to love" business. Don't even bother. That is, unless you can cook. Then I might could work you in sometime durin' the week.
If you chew tobacco, then we might have something in common. If I like you enough, we could even share the same spit bottle.
Oh, and don't message me if you're into all these "progressive" ideas. I think all a man needs besides booze and women is his rifle, a 3 month supply of food, a dog, a truck and a NASCAR calendar from 1998. Oh, and some white lightenin'. I think y'all should know that I consider myself ready for the upcoming 2012 Apocalypse.

A bouncer in Jacksonville hit me in the jaw with a crescent wrench 5 times. My ex wife's boyfriend broke my jaw with a fencepost. So if you don't email me, it won't hurt my feelings.
Oh, and my name is Jimmy Ray. But my friends call me Horn Dog on account of how many kids I got.
Also, don't respond to my ad again, Mom.

Gubmint

Gubmint and How Gubmint Works

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle
of a desert. Congress said, "Someone may steal from it at night." So
they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the
job.

Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without
instruction?" So they created a planning department and hired two
people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do
time studies.

Then Congress said, "How will we know the night watchman is doing the
tasks correctly?" So they created a Quality Control department and
hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports.

Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?" So They
created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll
officer.
Then hired two people.

Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of these
people?"
So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an
Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal
Secretary.

Then Congress said, "We have had this command in operation for one
Year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost."

So they laid off the night watchman.

NOW slowly, let it sink in.

Quietly, we go like sheep to slaughter.

Does anybody remember the reason given for the establishment of
the DEPARTMENT OF ENERGY.... during the Carter Administration?

Anybody?

Anything?

No?

Didn't think so!

Bottom line. We've spent several hundred billion dollars in support
of
an agency...the reason for which not one person who reads this can
remember!

Ready??

It was very simple...and at the time, everybody thought it very
appropriate.

The Department of Energy was instituted on 8-04-1977.
TO LESSEN OUR DEPENDENCE ON FOREIGN OIL.

Hey, pretty efficient, huh???

AND NOW IT'S 2009 -- 32 YEARS LATER -- AND THE BUDGET FOR THIS
"NECESSARY" DEPARTMENT IS AT $24.2 BILLION A YEAR. THEY HAVE 16,000
FEDERAL EMPLOYEES AND APPROXIMATELY 100,000 CONTRACT EMPLOYEES; AND
LOOK AT THE JOB THEY HAVE DONE! THIS IS WHERE YOU SLAP YOUR FOREHEAD
AND SAY, "WHAT WAS I THINKING?"

Ah, yes -- good ole bureaucracy.

AND, NOW, WE ARE GOING TO TURN THE BANKING SYSTEM, HEALTH CARE, AND
THE AUTO INDUSTRY OVER TO THE SAME GOVERNMENT?
HELLOOO! Anybody Home?

HREMFIC

H.R.E.M.F.I.C.

REMF

....................................................................................

Can't

Understand

Normal

Thinking?

Junk Yard Dog

Abigail has a new gig

Count Barackula from Taxilvania USSA?????

Happy Hallowed Weenie!

Time Travel

Time Travel

My dads gas station 1971 or 72. You should be able to click on the pics to enlarge them. Notice we now pay more in taxes per gallon than gas actually cost back then?

Mini Me.......... Granny feeding Uncivil late 50's

Grandaddy Uncivil was a drug dealer. That's his store beside the barber shop (early 40's).

Lizard Porn ????????

Oh man......I thought I was on to something, but YouTube is eat up with this stuff? I wasn't even the first to have an interracial lizard sex scene?????