Saturday, July 28, 2007

The Great Eight

Tagged from the Schmoozer of Schmooze Mrs Chrissy

The rules:

1. Let others know who tagged you.

2. Players start with 8 random facts about themselves.

3. Those who are tagged should post these rules and write their 8 random facts.

4. Players should tag 8 other people and notify them that they have been tagged.

Here we go!

1. I am an introvert at heart, but get a little extroverted in cyberspace.

2. I used to be a physical fitness nut ( weight lifting, boxing, martial arts,areobics, running in local 5K & 10K events).

3. Had a back injury back in 2002 and it along with old age (50 sucks), and sitting my fat arse at this computer has slowed me down. I'm built for comfort instead of speed now!LOL!!!

4. I split custody of my two wonderful mutts Abigail & Emily with my ex wife. We split in late 2003 and have been swapping the dogs every week since then.

5. I have an associates degree in Instumentation Technology that I have never used! All the mathmatics, algebra, and trig courses came in handy for my present job as a Lab Rat in a Quality Assurance Lab testing asphalt for the NCDOT.

6. I was a part time male stripper back in 1983 to 1986. I met my future wife at a tupperware party where I was the entertainment.

7. I was visited by agents from Homeland Security, The US Department of Defense, The FBI, The CID, and a few others back in 2003 for selling Military Body Armor on Ebay.

8. I get off probation at the end of this August 2007!

And since I'm such a rule breaking rebel without a cause.........I ain't gonna tag anyone. Besides......I don't have 8 people who read my blog? But consider yourself tagged if you are reading this!LOL

I love this old lady! My tribute to Marie Rudisill, better known as the Fruitcake Lady! God rest her soul!

And I had to edit this in! Congratulations on Diesel's new book release at the Mattress Police-Antisocial Commentary!

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Moan is me!

I got tagged by the fantabulous Ms.mamma!

FIVE people who will be annoyed you tagged them.





and my ex if she still reads my blog? LOL!!!!

(It is by no means limited to only them! Be part of something new - Spread some moans!)

FOUR things that should go into room 101 and be removed from the face of the earth.

1) Boom Car Stereos along with anyone who has one or profits from the sale of them.

2) Door to door solicitors

3) telemarketers

4) anyone who abuses a child or animal

THREE things people do that make you want to shake them violently.

1) Leaving their dogs in an unattended hot car

2) Playing their boom car stereo so loud it makes my car vibrate

3) Not using your frickin turn signal

TWO things you find yourself moaning about.

1) This whole country turning into a shithole.

2) Illegal Aliens who have learned to work the system

ONE thing the above answers tell you about yourself.

That I'm an old curmudgeon and pre-occupied with my non-existant peace and frickin quiet!

• Link to the original meme at so people know what it's all about!• Be as honest as possible. This is about letting people get to know the real you!• Try not to insult anyone - unless they really deserve it or are very, very ugly!• Post these rules at the end of every meme! ( I didn't post there cuz I'm a rule breakin beyotch!)

Saturday, July 21, 2007

The Farmer, the Duck & the Lawyer

A big city lawyer went duck hunting here in rural North Carolina. He shot and
dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a
fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up
on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and
now I' m going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming
over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the
United States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and
take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we
settle disputes in North Carolina. We settle small disagreements with the
'Three Kick Rule.'"
The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get
to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times
and so on back and forth until someone GIVES UP."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that
he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into
the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees.
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from
his mouth.
The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear
end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his
feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you
old fart. Now it's my turn."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I GIVE UP. You can have the duck

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Poolside Manners

Friday, July 06, 2007


Have Gun — Will Travel

This was one of my favorite Westerns as a child growing up in the 60's.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Moving Mountains or My New Redneck Workout
20 or 30 wheelbarrow loads later
My Workout Equipment
Have I lost my frikkin mind?
Miller Time!
A skunk sat on a stump. The skunk stunk. And the stump stunk!

Monday, July 02, 2007

Happy Trails Maggie

I've been trying to stay away from this old computer, and get a life. I don't know what else to say? ........ But Maggie deserves this post!
Maggie, (my mom's dog) passed away sometime between 9:30 last Thursday night and daylight Friday morning (7/29/07). We can only hope it was a peaceful death in her sleep. Her best buddy Lulu was at her her side all night and didn't even get out of their bed until mom went to rouse them that morning.

Mom said she took them out around 9:30 to potty, and then they crawled in their bed for the night. Then mom found Lulu snuggled up to Maggies cold little body the next morning.
Mom is handling it pretty well, except that Lulu is consantly searching the house for her little buddy. Mom said she wonders if Lulu is taking it harder than she is?

I always think of Rod Stewart's song "Maggie May" when I think of Maggie. Of course I would have to change a lot of the words to fit our Maggie!

My ex wife knew some old redneck farmer back in 2000 who had Maggie in a pen with about a dozen or more bulldogs, and said he was looking for a home for her.My mom already had Lulu back then and we asked her if Lulu needed a buddy?
We're not sure of Maggies age, but she wasn't no spring chicken. The vet thinks she was way over 10 years old at her last check up.

She was a happy and very friendly little gal and will be missed dearly!

Lulu is gonna borrow Rod's lyrics mixed with mine, and this is from Lulu to Maggie!

"Wake up maggie I think I got something to say to you
Its late september and I really should be back at obedience school
I know I keep you amused but I feel Im being used
Oh maggie I think I've pooped on the floor
You lured me away from home just so you could steal my bone
You stole my heart and thats what really hurt
The morning sun when its in your face really shows your age
But that dont worry me none in my eyes youre everything
I laughed at all of your jokes my love you didnt need to coax
Oh, maggie I think I've pooped on the floor
You lured me away from home, just so you could steal my bone
You stole my bone and thats a pain I can do without
All I needed was a friend to lend a guiding hand
But you turned into a humper and Mother what a humper, you wore me out
All you did was wreck my bed
And in the morning kick me in the head
Oh maggie I think I've pooped on the floor
You lured me away from home , and I don't want to be alone
You stole my heart I couldnt leave you if I tried"