Saturday, July 21, 2007

The Farmer, the Duck & the Lawyer

A big city lawyer went duck hunting here in rural North Carolina. He shot and
dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a
fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up
on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and
now I' m going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming
over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the
United States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and
take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we
settle disputes in North Carolina. We settle small disagreements with the
'Three Kick Rule.'"
The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get
to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times
and so on back and forth until someone GIVES UP."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that
he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into
the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees.
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from
his mouth.
The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear
end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his
feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you
old fart. Now it's my turn."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I GIVE UP. You can have the duck


Uncivil said...

I started to do a post on the dispicable Michael Vick. I'd like to be able to kick him three times.
He deserves a "Curb Stomping"!
Anybody who fights dogs for pleasure makes me hope there is a hell for them to fry in!

Steph said...

Haaaaaaahaha! I like that story. I know a few people I'd like to play this game with.

J at said...

I don't know who Michael Vick is, but I'm against dog fighting in any form.

This joke made me laugh out loud...TOO FUNNY!

Uncivil said...

I know so many people I'd like to kick that I would probably need a hip or a knee replacement when I got through.


The despicable Michael vick is a Quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons.

Just searh Michael Vick on wikipedia! I found this below

"As of July 21, 2007, Vick and three other men were facing federal charges involving an interstate dog fighting venture called "Bad Newz Kennels" based at his 15-acre estate valued at over $700,000 in a rural area of southeastern Virginia, which authorities contend was purchased and developed specifically for the criminal enterprise. They each face felony and misdemeanor charges, under which convictions carry penalties of prison terms of up to six years and fines of $350,0000, and forfeiture of proceeds and property involved. An arraignment and detention hearing is schedule for July 26 in Richmond. Trial dates had not yet been set."

I hope they all rot in prison!

Uncivil said...

Oh, I just clicked on "Bad Newz Kennels" and found this!

"The 18 page federal indictment [3] outlines an extensive operation which included not only unlawful fighting, but violence against dogs which did not perform well including executions by electrocution, hanging, and shooting, and well as involving tens of thousands of dollars in gambling activity."

In my opinion, the people that do anything this hideous should have their life here on this planet terminated immediately.

Ms. Mamma said...

Amen, Jimmy, amen! I've just given you something else to bitch and moan about!

Uncivil said...


I'll be gettin my bitchin and moanin on shortly!LOL!!!!!