UNCIVIL

A beautiful young lady from Pakistan tagged me with this, and I just have to pass along!

If I were a beginning, I would be:...... hopefully never ending.
If I were a month, I would be:..... April, for it is my birth month
If I were a time of day, I would be:... Sunrise, or Sunset. Everthing in between is just in the way.
If I were a planet, I would be:... out of this world
If I were a season, I would be: ...Spring because it symbolizes a new beginning
If I were a sea animal, I would be: ...A Sea Otter floating along on my back with a great big juicey oyster to pound against the rock I've just nestled against my belly.
If I were a direction, I would be:... counter clockwise
If I were a piece of furniture, I would be: ....A nightstand for a Chamber pot
If I were a sin, I would be:.... Ha,ha all of them the question is what sin wouldn't I be?
If I were a liquid, I would be:... anti venom
If I were a scare, I would be: ....The Creature from the Black Lagoon.
If I were a gem, I would be: ....a diamond because it's about as hard as my head.
If I were a flower/plant, I would be: ....A cactus because I can be such a prick.
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: ...The calm after the storm, and always predicted wrong.
If I were a musical instrument, I would be:... A tiny violin playing my heart bleeds for you!
If I were an animal, I would be:... Either of my dogs Abigail or Emily
If I were an emotion, I would be: ....an involuntary reflex
If I were a vegetable, I would be:.... a cucumber, then surely the women vegetables would find me most attractive?
If I were a sound, I would be: ....The wimper of a newborn pup.
If I were an element, I would be:...... Atomic number 79, Gold of course
If I were a car, I would be:.... out of gas and in a junk yard by now
If I were a song, I would be:.... "Hello Darkness my Old Friend"
If I were a food, I would be:.... chocolate (any doubts?).
If I were a place, I would be:.... Geographical
If I were a material, I would be:.... Sandpaper, cause I can rub you the wrong way.
If I were a taste, I would be:... Sweet & Sour, just like my emotions
If I were a scent, I would be: ....taking your breath away & you can take that two ways if you get my drift.
If I were a religion, I would be:.... Unfortunately at war with someone else's religion, so I would choose not to be a religion.
If I were a sentence, I would be: ....Why doesn't God come here and do away with religion?
If I were a facial _expression, I would be:.... a raised brow
If I were a subject in school, I would be:.... Mathmatics, because numbers don't lie.
If I were a shape, I would be:... a circle with no beginning and no end.
If I were a color, I would be:... Green as grass, unless I was feeling Baby shit brown.
If I were a thing, I would be:.... Shania Twain's _ _ _nahhh...my mind is in the gutter on that one?
If I were a book, I would be: ....I damn sure wouldn't be a romance novel.
If I were an artist, I would be:.... Poorer than I already am, but I always admire the great painters.
If I were a collection of poems, I would be:... One big Joke!
If I were a landmass, I would be:.... an unpredictable Volcano
If I were a watch, I would be:... A Timex of course, cause we all know about them lickins and tickins.
If I were God, I would be:... (I wouldnt be God).
If I were a vowel, I would be:... I.
If I were a consonant, I would be:... SH (space here for my vowel) and finally T.
If I were a theory, I would be:... A conspiracy......you know there was more than one shooter in Dallas that day!
If I were a famous person, I would be:.... a recluse in hiding
If I were an electronic equipment, I would be:... ha , ha...minds in the gutter again?
If I were sport, I would be:.... a Triathalon
If I were a movie, I would be:... a murder mystery
If I were a cartoon, I would be:.... Roger Rabbit
If I were an explorer, I would be:.... Knee deep in the Amazon.
If I were a scientist, I would be: ....trying to discover how to time travel
If I were a relation, I would be:.... Faithful
If I were a river, I would be:... Flooded
If I were intoxication, I would be: ....drunk again?
If I were alone, I would be: ....asleep, or at this darn computer
If I were a question, I would be: ...Why?
If I were a habit, I would be:.... Brain washed.
If I were in an atom, I would be: ....an oxygen atom in search of two hydrogens.
If I were you, I would be:.... Glad this is over.