Friday, April 18, 2008

"Plight of the Intruder"
We have a problem
Someone has breached security
How they got past the Redneck Security detachment is beyond me?
What am I gonna do with these little bastids?
The mow must go on!!!!!!!

Damn? She's laid one egg a day for the last five days! I hope she's got a sore ass!!!!!!

Dammit.....make it stop....please!!!!!

Jeanna's got me thinking about "Lavaballs" and "Birdballs" everytime I check the frikkin' nest now!

I finally caught the little witch sitting on her Birdballs!

What in the hell kind of bird is she???????I hope she knows I've got to get in there and get my mower out to mow the yard in a week or two!!!!

16 comments:

jan said...

Scrambled, sunny side up, over easy, soft boiled, Benedict, Florentine...

Uncivil said...

Jan
You're makin me hungry!!!!!! I can't wait till breakfast!!!!
I'll try to co-exist with the little bastids best I can! At least until they shit on my mower seat!!!!!LOL!!!!

Jeanna said...

Dang, I just found two blue eggs in a nest on my porch next to the lighter fluid.

Uncivil said...

next to the lighter fluid?.....that must be a sign?!!!!!

Uncivil said...

Commin' home sometime 4-20-08am. I'm drunk as a
mo fo.
Been out drinkin'and partyin' with a friend of mine.
It's the first time I've out drank my friend in about 30 some years.
It is a major accomplishment!!!
I have ligitamate braggin' rights!!!!

I has this scam gonng all night. I would tell hot lookin' college chicks that I needed them to hold my seat for me while i went to the bath room.

It worked like a gem when i asked them what they were drinki'n and i would buy them a drink for holdin' my seat for me.

Then it was up to my friend Clint to baffle them with B.S. until I got back!!!!!

Needless to day we struck out like a Mofo but we gave it hell tryin'.

This was the first time in 25 or 30 years that I have out drank my buddy....anbd i will never let his ass forget it!!!!!!A good time was had by all!!!!LOL!!!!

Jeanna said...

So you couldn't bring in the run, eh?

Uncivil said...

Jeanna
Wish you were there!!!! Me score? Couldn't get any if ya melted it and poured it on me!!!!LOL!!!
I did have a great time though!
We went to this bar called "The Dirty Martini" at Wrightsville Beach. All the waitresses wore skin tight black T-shirts with the word "Dirty" emblazoned across their chest!!!!
I fell in love about a million times!
If I had your writing skills.....I could write a book on our adventures!!!!
It was redneck goes uptown and all the little rich girls just love us for some reason????????
I think it's cause I was buying them $10.00 Martinis left and right.
Whew!!!!Can't afford many nights like that!
I saw a bottle of "Jameson" on the wall and thought of you! Tipped my "Blue Moon" to a cheer and toast to ya last night....I swear!!!!
I'm still waiting for ya to come by with that bottle now ...ya hear!!!!
Now I got to get my hungover ass out there and check on my birdie eggs and walk the dawgs!

Uncivil said...

Dammit...my dirty little nest is over flowing with "Birdballs"......I have yet to see the momma bird?

Jeanna said...

I keep disturbing the bird who is nested on the porch. There's a reason it laid its eggs on the opposite side of Brit and K-Fed. (White trash neighbors. I'm convinced he's an ex con and not the fun kind like on My Name Is Earl.)
I'm loading up on LavaBalls and facing south, saying "Cheers, James." Mmm, nothing like hot balls on the tongue for lunch.
Quit wasting your dough on some leech in tight jeans. Best get a lap dance with that or move on to the grateful old ladies. I think you were in the wrong bar.

Glamourpuss said...

Ah, that's so sweet!

Puss

Uncivil said...

Jeanna

Oh baby if I lived beside you.......then you would know what white trash is!!!!!!!LOL!!!I'm an ex-con too!!!!! but the fun kind!!!!

Puss
Yep, I think she has my redneck mower shed "Wren-ted" for the spring!

Jeanna said...

I suspected as much my little Blue Moon.

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

Oh Jimmy, you're just a softie at heart. I saw those eggs, and I was thinking, "omelette"...

But it sure seems to be a safe place for her to hide with them, until you decide to mow your yard. Good luck, papa-san!

Uncivil said...

J
I'm a sucker I guess?

C said...

Underneath that rough and tough exterior, you know you're a softie, right? :) There is a reason that bird laid her eggs where she did. She must have felt comfortable there.

Guess you're gonna be a daddy! LOL!

Uncivil said...

C
Yep....this is the only way I can pick up chics!