Sometimes ya just gotta surf Craigslist for the fun of it. Yeah, we got us a local boy here lookin' for a woman and I decided he needed to go international with his ad!
Come on gals. Help my little buddy Jimmy Ray find that special lady!LOL!
Titled: Take a ride... In my truck! - 27 (Wilmington)
I don't know what else to do. My girlfriend done run off and left me for my neighbor. She even took the kids, but I ain't complainin' about that. But the family reunion ain't for another couple 'a months and I sure could use a woman's comp'ny right now.
I'm 'a lookin' for a good lookin' gal that can stand by her man and not leave him for his handsome daddy. Or his best friend. Or his next door neighbor. Or the guy who works at the Bojangles in Monkey Junction. I ain't havin' it.
I like: NASCAR, anything Earnhardt, Copenhagen, Milwaukee's Beast, four wheelin', drinkin', shootin', 103.7 the Bone, my dogs Rufus and Boceefus, and my truck. And big boobs, too.
I don't like: hippies, Toyota, leaving tips, going to work sober, and bathing.
If you're a blond haired, blue eyed sweet Southern gal, go ahead and email me back. I only like 'em when they're dressed out at no more 'n 130 pounds or so. I ain't all into this "more to love" business. Don't even bother. That is, unless you can cook. Then I might could work you in sometime durin' the week.
If you chew tobacco, then we might have something in common. If I like you enough, we could even share the same spit bottle.
Oh, and don't message me if you're into all these "progressive" ideas. I think all a man needs besides booze and women is his rifle, a 3 month supply of food, a dog, a truck and a NASCAR calendar from 1998. Oh, and some white lightenin'. I think y'all should know that I consider myself ready for the upcoming 2012 Apocalypse.
A bouncer in Jacksonville hit me in the jaw with a crescent wrench 5 times. My ex wife's boyfriend broke my jaw with a fencepost. So if you don't email me, it won't hurt my feelings.
Oh, and my name is Jimmy Ray. But my friends call me Horn Dog on account of how many kids I got.
Also, don't respond to my ad again, Mom.