Friday, April 24, 2009

Poodle from Hell????


Borrowed this photo from google images.....but, the little shit looked alot like this one?

I got home for lunch and there was the cutest little poodle sitting in the road in front of my house. It was wearing a red t-shirt and sat there like it owned the place? Completely adorable!!!!!!
I came out to where it was and it ran over to my neighbors and got under her car.
She said it jumped out of some lady's car at "Go-Gas" two days ago and no-one has been able to catch it since?

Well, it made the mistake of going in the fenced area behind my trailer and I shut the gate and trapped it in there!

That's when all hell broke loose? That adorable little poodle went frikkin' psycho when I tried to get my hands on her!!!
I can't count how many dozens of times I chased that crazy little bitch around and around my back porch and deck area? My shirt was soaked from perspiration, and I was giving out of breath?
I put some really thick long cuffed leather gloves on and she still bit the shit out of me. I finally managed to put a trash can upside down on top of her, but still couldn't get a good enough grip to grab her and put her in the dog kennel without her biting the shit out of me? She got loose again?

Then, I finally manged to corner her when she tired, and put a plastic tea pitcher over her head while she was biting the hell out of that damn thing and grabbed her behind the neck and threw her in the damn dog kennel!

No way, I was gonna let a damn poodle whip my ass??!!!!

I took her over to the neighbors and told her the best thing to do was put a bullet in that frikkin' psycho dog's head. Of course ,I could never do that but the thought sure as hell crossed my mind. Hell.....I bet the owner doesn't even want the damned crazy little shit back?

I talked to the neighbor when I got off work and she said animal control came to get the little shit and they couldn't figure out how in the hell I was able to get my hands on the little bitch? She said they had to use that damn noose on a pole to get her out of my kennel. They couldn't put their hands on her?
Say's they will keep her for 10 days or until someone claims her? I'd make dog food outta the little winch?

I swear...I believe that little bitch could whip Abigail & Emily's ass at the same time and then bitch slap a pitbull or two?


OK...I almost got done in by a frikkin' poodle...that does alot for my ego!!

17 comments:

jan said...

We Poodles have a way of humbling people, especially macho type men.

Misty the alpha Poodle

Uncivil said...

Jan
After that experience.....I tremble in fear at the thought of poodles?
I do hope everything works out for the little hussy! I'll keep advised of her progress.....or next victim?

Anonymous said...

Tell him like it is Jan!!!!!

Jeanna said...

Damn, son, you should always call animal control and their little neck noose for that shit. Poodles have teeth don't they? And teeth are full of all kinds of diseased shit, not to mention rabies.
There's a one panel comic I'd kill to get my hands on called "Poodle With A Mohawk" from back in the eighties that seems fitting.

Uncivil said...

Anon
Yamacraw...is that you?

Jeanna
The little buggar didn't break the skin through those thick gloves, but the shear power of the bites made me think she was gonna crush some finger bones?

Jeanna said...

Only giant poodles are acceptable as dogs. You're damn lucky.

Miss Piggy said...

Next time you want to wrestle with someone...pick someone your own size. I have just the pig for you!

Curiosity Killer said...

Woh.

Good on you for figuring out the way to manhandle that bitch. But I couldn't help but think she's probably terrified, clueless, and defensive for whatever reason.

Uncivil said...

Jeanna
So, I guess little boston terriers aren't considered dogs? Oh yeah...I think you call them the "drop kick" breed???!!!!LOL
You're as cold as I am sometimes? Me likey!

Uncivil said...

Miss Piggy..AKA....Yamacraw!!!!

Good to see you on here......you'll be addicted in no time! Can't wait to see what you dream up!

CK
I wasn't as mean to her as it sounded! Just mad as hell because of her inconsiderate behaviour over all the work I was putting in to her.
She was just as you mentioned..."terrified, clueless, and defensive"....poor little witch!!!!LOL!!

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

Poor little thing was sure stressed out, wasn't she? Must have been scared to death. Sorry you got stuck with the bite marks to prove it! I hope her family comes and gets her soon, and that she's OK in the long run. Evil little thing though she is.

I think if it were me, I would have called the authorities once I had her trapped. No risk of rabies that way. You do have a kind heart, for going through all of that just to save the 'hussy'. ;)

Jeanna said...

Some exceptions, Ab and Em are among them. Met a furry little Bichon Frise and put the photo on the blog. Think I'll have him say something about you, you poodle bitch you (rotflmao).

VE said...

"That's when all hell broke loose? That adorable little poodle went frikkin' psycho when I tried to get my hands on her!!!
I can't count how many dozens of times I chased that crazy little bitch around and around my back porch and deck area? My shirt was soaked from perspiration, and I was giving out of breath?
I put some really thick long cuffed leather gloves on and she still bit the shit out of me. I finally managed to put a trash can upside down on top of her, but still couldn't get a good enough grip to grab her and put her in the dog kennel without her biting the shit out of..."

Ah...reminds me of dating...

Jeanna said...

Hey Poodle Bitch, will be thinking of you when on the annual birthday rattler hunt this weekend.

Uncivil said...

J
I went to your blog a few days ago and the screen kept locking up?

Jeanna
Poodle Bitch???? I usually answer to asshole!

VE
Come to think of it......it does sound like a few dates I've had?

Jeanna
Rattler hunt?......is that code word for demoratic convention?

Tracy said...

Hi
sorry to hear your experience with a little poodle...well, hope next time you will meet the cute and well behalf poodle...my friend has one like that...thank you for sharing

Tracy said...

Hi
sorry to hear your experience with a little poodle...well, hope next time you will meet the cute and well behalf poodle...my friend has one like that...thank you for sharing