Sunday, June 03, 2007

If I were?

This is a great little meme.

I'm tagging

If I were a beginning, I would be:...... hopefully never ending.
If I were a month, I would be:..... April, for it is my birth month
If I were a time of day, I would be:... Sunrise, or Sunset. Everthing in between is just in the way.
If I were a planet, I would be:... Mars! Men are from Mars aren't they? Although Venus rhymes with Penis?
If I were a season, I would be: ...Spring because it symbolizes a new beginning , and it's windy, and lot's of frikkin pollen! Is there any season worth a shit?
If I were a sea animal, I would be: ...A Sea Otter floating along on my back with a great big juicey oyster to pound against the rock I've just nestled against my belly.
If I were a direction, I would be:... counter clockwise
If I were a piece of furniture, I would be: ....A nightstand for a Chamber pot
If I were a sin, I would be:.... Ha ha, all of them! The question is what sin wouldn't I be?
If I were a liquid, I would be:... Probably burnt Motor Oil, or maybe some of that yucky stuff in the chamber pot on the nightstand?
If I were a scare, I would be: ....The Creature from the Black Lagoon, or maybe Hillory Clinton as President!
If I were a gem, I would be: ....a diamond because it's about as hard as my head.
If I were a flower/plant, I would be: ....A cactus because I can be such a prick.
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: ...The calm after the storm, and always predicted wrong.
If I were a musical instrument, I would be:... A tiny violin playing my heart bleeds for you!
If I were an animal, I would be:... Either of my dogs Abigail or Emily
If I were an emotion, I would be: ....the antithesis of reason
If I were a vegetable, I would be:.... a cucumber, then surely the women vegetables would find me most attractive?
If I were a sound, I would be: ....The wimper of a newborn pup.
If I were an element, I would be:...... Atomic number 79, Gold of course
If I were a car, I would be:.... out of gas and on the way to the junk yard. Time to buy that new Honda civic!
If I were a song, I would be:.... The Sound of Silence
If I were a food, I would be:.... hard to chew!
If I were a place, I would be:.... that's a hard one? How about any place you would like to visit, but wouldn't want to live there?
If I were a material, I would be:.... Sandpaper, cause I can rub you the wrong way.
If I were a taste, I would be:... Sweet & Sour, just like my emotions
If I were a scent, I would be: ....probably something that came out of a skunks ass!
If I were a religion, I would be:.... Unfortunately at war with someone else's religion, so I would choose not to be a religion.
If I were a sentence, I would be: ....Why doesn't God come here and do away with religion?
If I were a facial _expression, I would be:.... a raised brow
If I were a subject in school, I would be:.... Mathmatics, because numbers don't lie.
If I were a shape, I would be:... a circle with no beginning and no end.
If I were a color, I would be:... Green as grass, unless I was feeling Baby shit brown.
If I were a thing, I would be:.... Shania Twain's _ _ mind is in the gutter on that one?
If I were a book, I would be: ....I damn sure wouldn't be a romance novel.
If I were an artist, I would be:.... Poorer than I already am, but I always admire the great painters.Who are they?
If I were a collection of poems, I would be:..One big Joke! Don't know the poets either?
If I were a landmass, I would be:.... an unpredictable Volcano
If I were a watch, I would be:... A Timex of course, cause we all know about them lickins and tickins.
If I were God, I would be:... (I wouldnt be God).
If I were a vowel, I would be:... I.
If I were a consonant, I would be:... SH (space here for my vowel) and finally T.
If I were a theory, I would be:... A know there was more than one shooter in Dallas that day!
If I were a famous person, I would be:.... a very wealthy recluse in hiding
If I were an electronic equipment, I would be:... ha , ha...minds in the gutter again?
If I were a sport, I would be:.... a Boxing Match
If I were a movie, I would be:... a murder mystery
If I were a cartoon, I would be:.... Roger Rabbit
If I were an explorer, I would be:.... Knee deep in the Amazon.
If I were a scientist, I would be: ....trying to discover how to time travel
If I were a relation, I would be:.... Faithful
If I were a river, I would be:... Flooded
If I were intoxication, I would be: ....drunk again?
If I were alone, I would be: ....asleep, or at this darn computer
If I were a question, I would be: ...Why?
If I were a habit, I would be:.... Brain washed.
If I were in an atom, I would be: oxygen atom in search of two hydrogens.
If I were you, I would be:.... Glad this is over?

Just copy and paste, and change your answers to "If I were"

Update 6/7/07.....Glamourpuss did it her way and it is Glamfabulous!
Thanks Puss, I love it!


Curiosity.Killer said...

Hey Jimmy! I think I did this one before... but I'll do it again for next week. Thanks for the tag.

Uncivil said...

OH my Gosh CK! I forgot? You are the Queen of Memes! You don't have to do this one shug!

Chrissy121875 said...

Hullooooooooo, dear Uncivil! I am so in!!! I've been having a crappy day, so this meme will be a welcome distraction! Thanks for thinking of me!

Uncivil said...

Chissy, I'm sorry you are having such a crappy day shug.
How ironic? I just left your blog. I always go there because it cheers me up!
Wait till you feel better before you waste any brain cells on that meme!
Bullie huggs & Boston kisses!

Chrissy121875 said...

LOL! Thanks so much, Jimmy! I'll go into it in more detail, but not on the blog ;) cg underscore lee 121875 at hotmail dot com.

Glamourpuss said...

What an interesting image - where's it from and what is it?!

Ta for the tag - will attempt this week.


Uncivil said...

Hi Puss

The image was titled "Roots of Emotion"? I snagged it out of cyberspace.

I found this quote from Jim Morrison while there!

“When others demand that we become the people they want us to be, they force us to destroy the person we really are. It's a subtle kind of murder. The most loving parents and relatives commit every day"

Have a Glamorous Day Love!

Dan said...

If I were a vegetable, I would be:....

Wait a second! I AM a vegetable. I sit here all day typing away. Egads.

Uncivil said...

Dan, you're a hilarious vegetable. That's for sure!

kim said...

That's a loooooooooooong meme, Uncivil... gotta tip my symbolic hat off to yah!

Oh, and there are different types of atoms???

Uncivil said...


That was one long MoFo wasn't it!

The reason I was an oxygen atom in search of 2 hydrogen atoms is because then we would be H2O...get it? (water)
I'm not dissing the other atoms!LOL

Jay said...

Haha, that was a long one, wasn't it?

Chrissy121875 said...

Hey Jimmy!
I've started the meme you tagged me with. I'll finish it after this weekend, when that "issue" we're experiencing is resolved :) Sunday is the magical date! LOL! More news on that later, but for professionalism, I will not be posting about it. I'll just e-mail you :) Cheers for everything!

Uncivil said...


Yes it twas kind of long!


You're a sweetheart! That meme was soooo....looong! I didn't really expect anyone to do it? It was just fun to tag you guys! I don't blame anyone for not doing it!LOL

Can't wait to hear about your "issue resolvement"!

Happy Trails!

kim said...

Why is it that when you said "soooo....looong," it doesn't sound as if you were talkin' about the meme, Uncivil?

Sorry, sorry, my mind's obviously still stuck in the gutter Down Under. Boy-o-boy, Steph's blog is quite interesting, noh? I'm not surprised why it "inspired" you, Uncivil! ;)

Uncivil said...

Hi Kim

Steph has a hilarious sense of humor! And no shame!

My problem is I shame a little to easy unless I'm drinking!


Anonymous said...

your answers are fun! this is a fun one to read other peoples answers.

Uncivil said...


Yes, and I love your "Stud Finder" answer!LOL!!!!!!!