Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Dog days of summer?


Mowed the grass yesterday, then went to finish up with the weed eater. Got the back yard done and proceeded to the front.

I have a neighbor across the street who is in a wheelchair and has 3 pitbulls.

She's very dedicated to these 3 dogs and walks them with her wheelchair religiously. She even brings her poop scooping contraption and cleans up behind them. Problem is she dumps their poop on the deep end of a drainage ditch in front of my place.

I'm aware of this and SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER and just waited and sprayed it with "Roundup", but NOOOOOO......I got carried away and got a little to far into the ditch with the weedeater.

Next thing I know........that unforgettable smell of freshly laid dog squeeze permeates the air and it's following me everywhere I go. I just figured it was comming from the weedeater, but I kept smelling it after I put the weedeater up?

So I checked my shoes. Nope.....no poop there? Then I checked my pants and shirt....nope....no poop there either? I even left my shoes and clothes on the back porch just in case I missed something?

I walked into the kitchen and the smell was even stonger? WTF?????I was at a complete loss as to where that darn smell could be coming from?????

That's when I looked in the mirror.......yep.......you guessed it.....had two globs of fresh dog squeeze right on the end of my frikkin' nose???????

At that point all I could think about was the old skit from Cheek and Chong; "Looks like dog shit, smells like dog shit, feels like dog shit, tastes like dog shit. Must be dog shit. Good thing we didn't step in it!".