Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Flat Tire !

I was traveling between home and work when a tire blew out.

Checking my spare, I found that it too was flat.

My only option was to flag down a passing motorist and get a ride to the next town.

The first vehicle to stop was an old man in a van. He yelled out the window, "Need a lift?"

"Yes, I sure do," I replied.

"You a Republican or Democrat," asked the old man.

"REPUBLICAN," I replied.

"Well, you can just go to Hell," yelled the old man as he sped off.

Another guy stopped, rolled down the window, and asked me the same question.

Again, I gave the same answer, "REPUBLICAN."

The driver gave me the finger and drove off.

I thought it over and decided that maybe I should change my strategy, since this area seemed to be overly political and there appeared to be few Republicans.

The next car to stop was a red convertible driven by a beautiful blonde.

She smiled seductively and asked if I was a Republican or Democrat.

"DEMOCRAT!", I shouted.

"Hop in!", replied the blonde.

Driving down the road, I couldn't help but stare at the gorgeous woman in the seat next to me, the wind blowing through her hair, perfect breasts, and a short skirt that continued to ride higher and higher up her thighs.

Finally, I yelled, "Please stop the car."

She immediately slammed on the brakes and as soon as the car stopped, I jumped out.

"What's the matter?", she asked.

"I can't take it anymore," I replied. "I've only been a DEMOCRAT for five minutes and already I want to screw somebody."


J at said...

Crap Jimmy, if only that were true. You had me going, and while I was going, I was laughing! At the same time, though, I thought, Jimmy needs to move to Alaska! He'd get plenty of rides there!

Uncivil said...

There's Republicans in Alaska? Yay!!!
I sent you mom an email. I couldn't help but be a little mischievous and mention that she watch the election coverage to help keep her mind off of the home front!!!!LOL!
I know she thinks I'm loony!!!

Jeanna said...

Dang, son, I was hoping it was your lucky day. Ya know I heard Paul Mooney tell that one with a bit of a different spin. A bit. Don't think it would go over too well north or south a here. Funny though.

VE said...

I like to reply, "No I'm in the Whig party...they're making a comeback"

jan said...


Most appropriate.

J at said...

I'd say Alaska is mostly Republican. Juneau is a tiny little area of Democrat, but you've still got a huge state to play with without Juneau. ;)

I also like the Whig comment!

Thanks for the email to mom. I'm sure she's laughing.

Curiosity Killer said...

Only you can pull a joke like this, Jimmy. Ha ha ha ha.