Vintage '77

I don't have any "Senior Portraits", but the look in Ms.Mamma's eyes said she was going to kick my ass if I didn't post something!LOL!!!!!!

I think I was still 19 and stationed at Memphis Naval Air Station in the first pic. I had attitude back then too!

The second pic, same year, I had reached 20 years of age stationed at Naval Air Station Whidbey Island. I had just come back from one of the night clubs on the base and found that my roommate Carl had eaten my sack lunch from the fridge.
I had the munchies big time, and was pissed because that wasn't the first time he had done that to me. He had come back from the club early,ate my food, and passed out.

So I took all the mayo, mustard, ketchup,jelly packets, and what was left of a sandwich and squirted it all over him. My other roommate took the picture. We took some "Bengay" and rubbed all over his upper lip, and he didn't wake up! Carl was wasted!!!!

We were some party animals back in those days. I would be walking to my duty station the next morning and stopping along the way to puke, but only had the dry heaves! Then I would swear I wasn't going to drink anymore. But I would be back at the clubs the very next night!

Abigail & Emily Love This Clip!!!

A Chimp and a Beautiful English Bulldog doing sit-ups?

I can be such a negative little bastard, so I've decided to try to make a list of things that I'm glad about, or thankful for.

I'm glad that I had two parents who tried to instill a sense of right and wrong in me as a child, and make me go to church even if I didn't want to. I don't follow that doctrine now, but I'm glad I was raised in that environment.

I'm glad that I grew up in the 60's when life was much simpler and watched TV in black & white, and had grandparents with no indoor plumbing and had to use an outhouse.

I'm glad my grandad taught me how to whittle and make my own slingshots, and bow and arrows.

I'm glad we didn't have all the fancy toys that kids have today, because I would never of had the imagination to take an empty "Quaker Oats" box with some tobacco twine and make my own imaginary scuba tank and face mask to play "Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea". Yes, I dove off the bunk beds into the floor and pretended to swim underwater.

I'm glad I had a childhood friend who taught me to catch snakes, lizards, and turtles. I'm glad we were smart enough to study which snakes to catch and which ones to leave alone. I'm glad he took it as serious as he did.

I'm glad for the summers that I spent on my grandparents farm and was able to see how chickens, pigs, cows and various other livestock were raised back then. They actually got to live a pretty good life in those days. The commercialization of livestock (especially swine and poultry) in this modern era is appalling.

I'm glad none of the bamboo poles I used to pole vault over Mom and Dad's car ever broke.

I'm glad my Dad was a mechanic, and was able to provide my little brother and I with (Go-Carts & Mini-bikes) even if they only had 3 or 4 horsepower! I'm also glad he let us have ponies and horses, and "Bill" the cow. She was a manly looking cow!

I'm glad I didn't bite into that horseshit sandwich my little sister made for me on the trail ride.

I'm glad my parents didn't divorce until I was 27. I'm glad they are still around and I have a good relationship with them and my little sister and brother.

I'm glad I married my ex even if it didn't work out. I'm glad we're still friends. She probably kept me out of a shit load of trouble for those 15 years of marriage.

I'm glad for my job, and I'm glad to live in one of the most powerful nations on earth. Of course I don't know how long either of those will last?

And last but best of all, I'm glad to get to snuggle up with my little Boston Emily, and my Bullie Abigail and go to bed tonight under some cold A/C.

Italian Joke of the week!

There was this Italian cook who was concerned about his three son's appearance. So, he confronted each one of them separately on their physical appearance. You need to hear this joke in an Italian accent to get the full effect!

He confronts the first son Antonio

Papa : Antonio, why you so fat?

Antonio: It's the pasta Papa. All I think about is the pasta. I love the pasta. I could eat the pasta every day!

Papa: But Antonio, you need to take a smaller bites!



Then he goes to the second son Giovanni

Papa: Giovanni,why you so fat?

Giovanni: It's the pizza Papa. All I think about is the pizza. I love the pizza. I could eat the pizza every day!

Papa: But Giovanni, you need to take a smaller bites!


Then he goes to the third son Giuseppe

Papa: Giuseppe,why you so skinny?

Giuseppe: It's the pussy Papa. All I think about is the pussy. I love the pussy. I could eat the pussy every day!

Papa: Aggghhhhh ....Pussy......taste like shit!

Giuseppe: But Papa, you need to take a smaller bites?

Hello, is Mr. Asshole home?

I just got through reading J's post and it got me to thinking! Damn, that's dangerous......for me to think....that is!

It's a meme and although I wasn't tagged it looked like time for introspection. I won't be tagging anyone else either!

Anti Racist Meme

1. I am:

A very mixed up individual. (English,German, Scottish,Irish,?,?) I used to be blonde, blue eyed, now it's just gray haired and bloodshot eyes! I do know that I am 100% Asshole, and I battle it daily!

2. My child is:

Non-existant! Unless you count doggies?

I decided I didn't want children from a very early age because I didn't want to change shitty diapers. Also, I was quite a rotten little shit, and as I aged, I decided I didn't want to reap all the rotten shit I have done.

Now that I am an old fart, I look at our government run school system, not to mention the way the government is knee deep in all our ass'es and I'm kind of glad I don't have children.

3. I first started thinking more about race, culture, and identity when:

Gosh, I guess I was 5 or 6 years old visiting my grandparents back in the early 60's. My grandparents were farmers and raised tobacco for a living in southern NC. I noticed people of a different color for the first time while there.

There were these old black ladies in the shade of Grandad's pack house tying up tobacco on sticks. I was very intrigued with our physical differences to say the least. Then one of them spit on the ground and it was black? Black spit?????

That vision was burned into my little brain. I ran around the corner and spit on the ground for comparison. Mine wasn't black? I thought black people had black spit, and white people had regular clear spit? How was I supposed to know she was chewing snuff?

Needless to say, my grandad treated these folks with the utmost respect, as he taught me and there were many of them at his funeral some twenty years later!

4. People think my name is:

Asshole!.......no really.....most people have no trouble with my first name. They usually mispronounce my last name, but I couldn't remain the anonymous asshole that I am if I told you that.

5. The family tradition I most want to pass on is:

Whoops, missed out on that one? I have no one to pass anything on too except my two nieces, and I don't want to corrupt them!


Everybody tells me I would have been a good father!
I've got their ass'es fooled! Bwhaaaa,,,haaaa,haaa

6. The family tradition I least want to pass on is:

I'm such a dummy,and I can't begin to tell you how many times I've edited this post.

The only tradition I can think of at the moment is that my Dad, my brother, and I always go to Hooters and drink beer and eat chicken wings when it is one of our birthdays. So, I get to go to Hooters at least 3 times a year. We wouldn't want to pass that on to my nieces, and I surely hope niether of them decide to work there!

7. My child’s first word in English was:
8. My child’s first non-English word was:

Number 7 & 8 Doesn't apply to me. Wow! Look how not having kids saved me time here!

9. The non-English word/phrase most used in my home is:

"Hola", as in AssHola!!!!!!

10. One thing I love about being a parent is:

See number 2 , 7 & 8!

11. One thing I hate about being a parent is:

See number 2 , 7 & 8! Wow...this is getting easier and easier!

12. To me, being an anti-racist parent means:

Teaching your child that we are not all created equal, but we all have equal opportunities!
There are people who will have more and there are people who will have less so live with it! And always remember the world does not revolve around you!!!!!!!!

When you notice other people’s differences, strengths, and weaknesses; concentrate on their strengths, and forgive their weaknesses.

I believe we as humans are racist by nature. We tend to notice other cultures weaknesses, more than their strengths. We're just like the media in that aspect, good news just isn't news, but bad news is good for business or gossip in our case!

.................................................................................

Now, all that leads me to this.........

I don't like having to defend myself from being a racist! It seems to me that the ones hollering racist are more of a racist than I am.

I don't know what to call them? If I call them "they", then I'm a racist?

So, here goes something to ponder; how do you tell your child why "they" have Black Miss America, but "they" don't have White Miss America, or Jewish Miss America, or Puerto Rican Miss America?

How do you tell your child why "they" have Black MTV, but not White MTV, or Jewish MTV, or Puerto Rican MTV?

Why do I have to defend myself from using the "They" word?

Why is it racist to be white?

Mixed Feelings

The Great Eight

Tagged from the Schmoozer of Schmooze Mrs Chrissy


The rules:


1. Let others know who tagged you.


2. Players start with 8 random facts about themselves.


3. Those who are tagged should post these rules and write their 8 random facts.


4. Players should tag 8 other people and notify them that they have been tagged.


Here we go!


1. I am an introvert at heart, but get a little extroverted in cyberspace.



2. I used to be a physical fitness nut ( weight lifting, boxing, martial arts,areobics, running in local 5K & 10K events).


3. Had a back injury back in 2002 and it along with old age (50 sucks), and sitting my fat arse at this computer has slowed me down. I'm built for comfort instead of speed now!LOL!!!


4. I split custody of my two wonderful mutts Abigail & Emily with my ex wife. We split in late 2003 and have been swapping the dogs every week since then.


5. I have an associates degree in Instumentation Technology that I have never used! All the mathmatics, algebra, and trig courses came in handy for my present job as a Lab Rat in a Quality Assurance Lab testing asphalt for the NCDOT.


6. I was a part time male stripper back in 1983 to 1986. I met my future wife at a tupperware party where I was the entertainment.


7. I was visited by agents from Homeland Security, The US Department of Defense, The FBI, The CID, and a few others back in 2003 for selling Military Body Armor on Ebay.


8. I get off probation at the end of this August 2007!

And since I'm such a rule breaking rebel without a cause.........I ain't gonna tag anyone. Besides......I don't have 8 people who read my blog? But consider yourself tagged if you are reading this!LOL

I love this old lady! My tribute to Marie Rudisill, better known as the Fruitcake Lady! God rest her soul!

And I had to edit this in! Congratulations on Diesel's new book release at the Mattress Police-Antisocial Commentary!

Moan is me!


I got tagged by the fantabulous Ms.mamma!


FIVE people who will be annoyed you tagged them.



Chrissy

Hope

Puss

Rachie-Babe

and my ex if she still reads my blog? LOL!!!!



(It is by no means limited to only them! Be part of something new - Spread some moans!)




FOUR things that should go into room 101 and be removed from the face of the earth.

1) Boom Car Stereos along with anyone who has one or profits from the sale of them.

2) Door to door solicitors

3) telemarketers

4) anyone who abuses a child or animal


THREE things people do that make you want to shake them violently.

1) Leaving their dogs in an unattended hot car

2) Playing their boom car stereo so loud it makes my car vibrate

3) Not using your frickin turn signal


TWO things you find yourself moaning about.


1) This whole country turning into a shithole.

2) Illegal Aliens who have learned to work the system



ONE thing the above answers tell you about yourself.


That I'm an old curmudgeon and pre-occupied with my non-existant peace and frickin quiet!

RULES
• Link to the original meme at freelancecynic.com so people know what it's all about!• Be as honest as possible. This is about letting people get to know the real you!• Try not to insult anyone - unless they really deserve it or are very, very ugly!• Post these rules at the end of every meme! ( I didn't post there cuz I'm a rule breakin beyotch!)

The Farmer, the Duck & the Lawyer

A big city lawyer went duck hunting here in rural North Carolina. He shot and
dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a
fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up
on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and
now I' m going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming
over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the
United States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and
take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we
settle disputes in North Carolina. We settle small disagreements with the
'Three Kick Rule.'"
The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get
to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times
and so on back and forth until someone GIVES UP."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that
he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local
custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the
attorney.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into
the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees.
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from
his mouth.
The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear
end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his
feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you
old fart. Now it's my turn."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I GIVE UP. You can have the duck

Poolside Manners

PALADIN

Have Gun — Will Travel

This was one of my favorite Westerns as a child growing up in the 60's.

Moving Mountains or My New Redneck Workout
20 or 30 wheelbarrow loads later
My Workout Equipment
Have I lost my frikkin mind?
Miller Time!
A skunk sat on a stump. The skunk stunk. And the stump stunk!

Happy Trails Maggie

I've been trying to stay away from this old computer, and get a life. I don't know what else to say? ........ But Maggie deserves this post!
Maggie, (my mom's dog) passed away sometime between 9:30 last Thursday night and daylight Friday morning (7/29/07). We can only hope it was a peaceful death in her sleep. Her best buddy Lulu was at her her side all night and didn't even get out of their bed until mom went to rouse them that morning.

Mom said she took them out around 9:30 to potty, and then they crawled in their bed for the night. Then mom found Lulu snuggled up to Maggies cold little body the next morning.
Mom is handling it pretty well, except that Lulu is consantly searching the house for her little buddy. Mom said she wonders if Lulu is taking it harder than she is?

I always think of Rod Stewart's song "Maggie May" when I think of Maggie. Of course I would have to change a lot of the words to fit our Maggie!

My ex wife knew some old redneck farmer back in 2000 who had Maggie in a pen with about a dozen or more bulldogs, and said he was looking for a home for her.My mom already had Lulu back then and we asked her if Lulu needed a buddy?
We're not sure of Maggies age, but she wasn't no spring chicken. The vet thinks she was way over 10 years old at her last check up.

She was a happy and very friendly little gal and will be missed dearly!

Lulu is gonna borrow Rod's lyrics mixed with mine, and this is from Lulu to Maggie!

"Wake up maggie I think I got something to say to you
Its late september and I really should be back at obedience school
I know I keep you amused but I feel Im being used
Oh maggie I think I've pooped on the floor
You lured me away from home just so you could steal my bone
You stole my heart and thats what really hurt
The morning sun when its in your face really shows your age
But that dont worry me none in my eyes youre everything
I laughed at all of your jokes my love you didnt need to coax
Oh, maggie I think I've pooped on the floor
You lured me away from home, just so you could steal my bone
You stole my bone and thats a pain I can do without
All I needed was a friend to lend a guiding hand
But you turned into a humper and Mother what a humper, you wore me out
All you did was wreck my bed
And in the morning kick me in the head
Oh maggie I think I've pooped on the floor
You lured me away from home , and I don't want to be alone
You stole my heart I couldnt leave you if I tried"

When you don't have anything else to occupy your time,try capturing Superman in a photograph!

Just pretend you are Jimmy Olsen, the Daily Planet's star photographer, and try to get some good pictures of Superman for tomorrows edition!

I suck at it but it's still fun. BTW highspeed internet connection is a must.

click here TRY TO PHOTOGRAPH SUPERMAN!

Men Bashing

I guess I have more female readers than male? And a great gal who's going through some rough times sent me this email below.

I'll be the first to admit that we men can be some sick worthless bastards . We're born that way,and it's a life long battle to free ourselves of those testosterone chains that are wrapped so tightly around our brains!

I'm dedicating this post to my friend JP down in Jawja!

The Why's of Men

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX? (Because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T MEN BLINK DURING SEX? (They don't have enough time)

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG (They don't stop to ask directions)

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS(Because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)

5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS(So they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)

6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN(You need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN (Don't know....it never happened)(C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)And my personal favorite:

8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH ?(Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in yourheart... Then you are just an old sour fart.

Steph with her Men Have No Sense Of Humor! post was my inspiration for this post.

Below is the biggest laugh I've ever had with a gal, and I'm sure she will never forget me! I'll never forget you Debbie!LOL

We were in my bed and I was giving her a tongue bath. She failed to notice the "Alka-Seltzer" I had hidden in the palm of my hand!

She was really getting into it when I snuck that bad boy in. I was face to face with that muff, and it was foaming like a rabid cat! She screamed, "What did you do? It burns?"

I said, "let me fix that love", jumped up and pounded it on in, while saying "well it doesn't burn me? but it is a little bubbly?"

Then I told her what I had done. We both had a good laugh, but she told me to never, never do that again!

Now every time I think of "Alka-Seltzer", I think of my version of their commercial!
"Plop, Plop, Jizz, Jizz, Oh what a relief it is!"

If I were?

This is a great little meme.

I'm tagging
Chrissy
Ms.mamma
curiositykiller
Glamourpuss
Jay


If I were a beginning, I would be:...... hopefully never ending.
If I were a month, I would be:..... April, for it is my birth month
If I were a time of day, I would be:... Sunrise, or Sunset. Everthing in between is just in the way.
If I were a planet, I would be:... Mars! Men are from Mars aren't they? Although Venus rhymes with Penis?
If I were a season, I would be: ...Spring because it symbolizes a new beginning , and it's windy, and lot's of frikkin pollen! Is there any season worth a shit?
If I were a sea animal, I would be: ...A Sea Otter floating along on my back with a great big juicey oyster to pound against the rock I've just nestled against my belly.
If I were a direction, I would be:... counter clockwise
If I were a piece of furniture, I would be: ....A nightstand for a Chamber pot
If I were a sin, I would be:.... Ha ha, all of them! The question is what sin wouldn't I be?
If I were a liquid, I would be:... Probably burnt Motor Oil, or maybe some of that yucky stuff in the chamber pot on the nightstand?
If I were a scare, I would be: ....The Creature from the Black Lagoon, or maybe Hillory Clinton as President!
If I were a gem, I would be: ....a diamond because it's about as hard as my head.
If I were a flower/plant, I would be: ....A cactus because I can be such a prick.
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: ...The calm after the storm, and always predicted wrong.
If I were a musical instrument, I would be:... A tiny violin playing my heart bleeds for you!
If I were an animal, I would be:... Either of my dogs Abigail or Emily
If I were an emotion, I would be: ....the antithesis of reason
If I were a vegetable, I would be:.... a cucumber, then surely the women vegetables would find me most attractive?
If I were a sound, I would be: ....The wimper of a newborn pup.
If I were an element, I would be:...... Atomic number 79, Gold of course
If I were a car, I would be:.... out of gas and on the way to the junk yard. Time to buy that new Honda civic!
If I were a song, I would be:.... The Sound of Silence
If I were a food, I would be:.... hard to chew!
If I were a place, I would be:.... that's a hard one? How about any place you would like to visit, but wouldn't want to live there?
If I were a material, I would be:.... Sandpaper, cause I can rub you the wrong way.
If I were a taste, I would be:... Sweet & Sour, just like my emotions
If I were a scent, I would be: ....probably something that came out of a skunks ass!
If I were a religion, I would be:.... Unfortunately at war with someone else's religion, so I would choose not to be a religion.
If I were a sentence, I would be: ....Why doesn't God come here and do away with religion?
If I were a facial _expression, I would be:.... a raised brow
If I were a subject in school, I would be:.... Mathmatics, because numbers don't lie.
If I were a shape, I would be:... a circle with no beginning and no end.
If I were a color, I would be:... Green as grass, unless I was feeling Baby shit brown.
If I were a thing, I would be:.... Shania Twain's _ _ _nahhh...my mind is in the gutter on that one?
If I were a book, I would be: ....I damn sure wouldn't be a romance novel.
If I were an artist, I would be:.... Poorer than I already am, but I always admire the great painters.Who are they?
If I were a collection of poems, I would be:..One big Joke! Don't know the poets either?
If I were a landmass, I would be:.... an unpredictable Volcano
If I were a watch, I would be:... A Timex of course, cause we all know about them lickins and tickins.
If I were God, I would be:... (I wouldnt be God).
If I were a vowel, I would be:... I.
If I were a consonant, I would be:... SH (space here for my vowel) and finally T.
If I were a theory, I would be:... A conspiracy......you know there was more than one shooter in Dallas that day!
If I were a famous person, I would be:.... a very wealthy recluse in hiding
If I were an electronic equipment, I would be:... ha , ha...minds in the gutter again?
If I were a sport, I would be:.... a Boxing Match
If I were a movie, I would be:... a murder mystery
If I were a cartoon, I would be:.... Roger Rabbit
If I were an explorer, I would be:.... Knee deep in the Amazon.
If I were a scientist, I would be: ....trying to discover how to time travel
If I were a relation, I would be:.... Faithful
If I were a river, I would be:... Flooded
If I were intoxication, I would be: ....drunk again?
If I were alone, I would be: ....asleep, or at this darn computer
If I were a question, I would be: ...Why?
If I were a habit, I would be:.... Brain washed.
If I were in an atom, I would be: ....an oxygen atom in search of two hydrogens.
If I were you, I would be:.... Glad this is over?


Just copy and paste, and change your answers to "If I were"

Update 6/7/07.....Glamourpuss did it her way and it is Glamfabulous!
Thanks Puss, I love it!

Belated Memorial Day

How did you earn your seat in the classroom?

Back in September of 2005, on the first day of school, Martha Cothren, a social studies school teacher did something not to be forgotten.

On the first day of school, with permission of the school superintendent, the principal and the building supervisor, she took all of the desks out of the classroom.

The kids came into first period, they walked in, there were no desks. They obviously looked around and said, "Ms. Cothren, where's our desk?" And she said, "You can't have a desk until you tell me how you earn them."

They thought, "Well, maybe it's our grades."

"No," she said."Maybe it's our behavior.""No, it's not even your behavior."

So they came and went in the first period, still no desks in the classroom. Second period, same thing, then third period. By early afternoon television news crews had gathered in Ms. Cothren's class to find out about this crazy teacher who had taken all the desks out of the classroom.

The last period of the day, Martha Cothren gathered her class. They were at this time sitting on the floor around the sides of the room. And she says,Throughout the day no one has really understood how you earn the desks that sit in this classroom ordinarily."

She said, "Now I'm going to tell you."

Martha Cothren went over to the door of her classroom and opened it, and as she did 27 U.S. veterans, wearing their uniforms, walked into that classroom, each one carrying a school desk. And they placed those school desks in rows, and then they stood along the wall. And by the time they had finished placing those desks, those kids for the first time I think perhaps in their lives understood how they earned those desks.

Martha said, "You don't have to earn those desks. These guys did it for you.They put them out there for you, but it's up to you to sit here responsibly to learn, to be good students and good citizens, because they paid a price for you to have that desk, and don't ever forget it."

I think sometimes we forget that the freedoms that we have are because of ordinary people who did extraordinary things, who loved this country more than life itself, and who not only earned a school desk for a kid at the Robinson High School in Little Rock, but who earned a seat for you and me to enjoy this great land we call home, this wonderful nation that we better love enough to protect and preserve with the kind of conservative, solid values and principles that made us a great nation.

"We live in the Land of the Free because of the brave"

Update 6/02/07
I Snoped this little story and it's true according to Snopes

Click here!

Picnic

Boston, Basket, Bike

In case you were wondering....

What a nappy headed hoe looks like----

Ever feel your eyes water up and your blood boiling at the same time?

Well, you need to read this post over at Gollylog! Luckily everything is OK, but it could have been a disaster, and I just want my readers to be aware of the dangers of rat poison. We love you Dax & Hope and the rest of the pack.

River Critters

A Truckload of Mutts

Lulu and Maggie, my Mom's doggies. She's up visiting for a week or two! I'll get more pics later.
I wish you could have seen them sniffing the little iron doorstop doggies ass. I couldn't get a piture of it! Dang it!



The High Priestess Emily is daring anyone to challenge her domain! Looks like I have the remote on paws!LOL!!!!!!!!

HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK

1. Open a new file folder in your computer.

2. Name it "Hillary Rodham Clinton"

3. Send it to the trash.

4. Click "Empty the trash."

5. Your PC will ask you, "Do you really want to get rid of "Hillary Rodham Clinton?"

6. Firmly Click "Yes."

7. Feel better.

PS: Next week you can do Nancy Pelosi


LOL!!!!!!I just had to add this one!


Dogs possess an uncanny "6th" sense.


Have you ever heard that a dog knows when an earthquake is about to hit?


Have you ever heard that a dog can sense when a tornado is stirring up, even twenty miles away?


Do you remember hearing that, before the December tsunami struck Southeast Asia,dogs started running frantically away from the seashore,at breakneck speed?


I am a firm believer that animals "and especially dogs" have keen insights into the Truth.


And you can't tell me that dogs can't sense a potentially terrible disaster well in advance.


Simply said, a good ol hound dog just KNOWS when something isn't right........when impending doom is upon us.....

Yea Right? Like someone is going to do this for me from my blog?!!!LOL

INSTRUCTIONS: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so.
1) Pointless Drivel
2) Shelli’s Sentiments
3) CuriosityKiller
4) MsMamma
5) Uncivil

Next select five people to tag: (if you haven’t done it already)

Hell.....I don't even have 5 people that read my blog and if I did, they were already tagged.......This is just for you Ms.mamma, cause I love ya so much!!LOL

Julian with his photo's is about the only one I can think of and Polly should be the one to tag him?

1) Beaucoup d'images sur pas grand chose
2) :( anonymous?
3) :( anonymous?
4) :( anonymous?
5) :( anonymous?

What were you doing 10 years ago?

1997. I was working for the Sampson/Duplin County Resident Engineers office in Clinton NC. I helped do quite a lot of the surveying, and stake out of a section of the Highway 24 bypass around Kenansville in duplin county.

I was completely computer illiterate back then.

What were you doing 1 year ago?

Still working for the NCDOT but in The Asphalt Q.A. lab in Burgaw. Pushing a pencil, and still crunching numbers!

Five snacks you enjoy:
1) Snickers
2) Peanut M&M's
3) Peanut Butter Sandwich
4) Bananas
5) Chocolate Chip Cookies

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:

1) Ole Red .....Blake shelton
2) Austin......Blake Shelton
3) Would you lay with me....David Allen Coe
4) Wake Up Older.......Julie Roberts
5) Mamma'a got her Boobs out!......Rodney Carrington

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:

1) Share the wealth
2) I would make someone an offer they couldn't refuse for this old house I love on Old River road!
3) Get 3 Brand New Hondas....Civic Si, CRV, and a Ridgeline
4) Travel , Go to Alaska to see where I was born.....takin the parents too!
5) Throw a big party or two, and then become a recluse!

Five bad habits:

1) Losing my temper via road rage, crowded stores, incompetent people
2) Eating & Drinking unhealthy
3) Don't see loved ones enough
4) Not compasionate enough toward my fellow man
5) Enjoy Solitude and reclusiveness too much!

Five things you like doing:

1) Eating
2) Dinking at the bars
3) Walking the dogs. Love the solitude with them.
4) Shooting Pool at the bars
5) Love to go out to Restaurants

Five things you would never wear again:

1) Nut hugger bathing suit.......never have...never will!
2) Bell Bottoms
3) Boots with a high heel
4) suspenders
5) boxer shorts

Five favorite toys:

1) My 1992 model Stihl Chainsaw.....sentimental value
2) My new Zero Turn Radius Lawnmower
3) My old Dell Computer
4) My little Sony Cybershot
5) My new Total Trainer by Bayou Fitness


Also from Ms.mamma who got it from Chrissy:

FOODOLOGY
Q. What is your salad dressing of choice?
A. French, then Ranch, then Italian

Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
A. Chic Fillet

Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
A. Rucker Johns

Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A. 20%, usually, unless the service sucks.

Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
A. Chicken

Q. What is your favorite type of gum?
A. Not much of a gum chewer

TECHNOLOGY
Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A. A picture of Ab & Em looking out the window of the doggie van at 3 horses!

Q. How many televisions are in your house?
A. one..........1989 20" Mitsubishi.....I don't watch much TV

BIOLOGY
Q. What’s your best feature?
A.My Chest......well...it used to be.....25 years ago!LOL

Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A. Tonsils, Appendix,

Q. Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
A. At my age they all suck! I love to eat, so my damn tastebuds must still be pretty good!

Q. When was the last time you had a cavity?
A. ?.....Ten years or more

Q. What is the heaviest item you lifted last?
A. A couple of 50 pound sample bags of asphalt at the same time

Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A. At least 3 times. Kicked in the head at soccer practice in highschool 1974, got the shit beat out of me by two older black guys behind the highschool 1974, Got knocked out once in the boxing ring back in 1996.

and been knocked out on my feet too many times to mention.....should have fell but didn't?

BULLSHITOLOGY
Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A. Hell No.

Q. Is love for real?
A. Hell yes!

Q. If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?
A. asshole

Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
A. Carolina blue goes well with my eyes, but I like green

Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
A. bugs, gasoline while trying to siphon from the car for the lawnmower

Q. Have you ever saved someone’s life?
A. Yes.

Q. Has someone ever saved yours?
A. Yes.

DAREOLOGY
Q. Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
A. Oh hell yea! I'd do it for a even hundred if I didn't get arrested

Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A. yes and i'm a homophobe from hell

Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
A. I'm thinkin.....damn that's tempting...not that broke right now!

Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A. Not enough money.......try $500,000....then hell yea!

Q. Would you pose nude in a magazine for $250,000?
A. Hell yea! Give a few drinks and I'll give ya a better deal!

Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
A: Nope!....... that's why I don't watch "Fear Factor" I'm not into eating stupid and gross shit!

Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
A. I know a few I would terminate for free.....hey they gotta die sometime anyway......If they are a murderer or a rapist, or a child molester.....they need to die early!!!!!! Times up...they are outta here!

I couldn't do it too an innocent good peson if that's what you mean.

Q. Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
A. Hell yea....sign me up!!!!

Q. Give up MySpace forever for $30,000?
A. Double hell yea

DUMBOLOGY:
Q. What is in your left pocket?
A. Microtech Switchblade and 2 one dollar bills

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A. I haven't seen it.

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
A. Laminate flooring and carpet

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A.Stand, and I prefer to shower over soaking in bathtub. Don't like to wash my face in the same water I wash my ass in!LOL

Q: Could you live with roommates?
A. Hell no....unless it was very temporary to help a friend or family member in a crunch!

Q: How many pairs of flip-flops do you own?
A. None.

Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A. Spring of 2003. I had several cops/agents at the house! FBI,CID, DCIS, Homeland Security! I got busted in "Operation High Bidder" on ebay for selling military issue body armor. I's a long long story. I should really write a book about it. I get off probation at the end of August!LOL

Here's a post I did on it back in Feb. 2006

"Mandatory DNA Sampling for Americans ARRESTED"

Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A. Anything but a prisoner of the state!

LASTOLOGY
Q: Friend you talked to?
A. My Ex.....she called to let me know that Emily had to go to the vet. She broke out in hives again?

Q: Last person you called?
A. My Dad

RANDOMOLOGY:
Q. First place you went this morning?
A. Bathroom....then to work in Burgaw

Q: What can you not wait to do?
A: Win the lottery so I can be a rich recluse!

Q: What's the last movie you saw?
A: I don't watch TV much, and I damn sure don't go to the theater or rent movies! Sorry.........I remember someone loaning me the "40 Year Old virgin" a while back. It was hillarious, but I've forgotten most of it already.

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: Damn....that's a hard one......does UNCIVIL ring a bell? I can be friendly but I have to work at it,,,,,,,,,,,,It doesn't come natural for me. I try very hard to be nice!

Damn it....Hell no.....I'm getting unfriendly just trying to weasel my way out of this question!